Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Smarts.

I think I log on to facebook when I'm craving some kind of interaction.  No wait, craving makes it sound desperate.  That's not the right word. Maybe it's just a preference - My preference is to have someone to talk to or look at or ask a question.  But I'm alone and so I log on thinking that someone on facebook will talk to me.  That's the misconception.  No one will talk to me there.  They talk at me or near me or through me or around me, but not to me.  And then I have to deal with whatever burdens have been placed on my news feed and instead of having my craving (preference) satisfied, I'm now worried about 8 different people, upset about some political conflict I don't understand and basing my self-worth on the fact that my first boyfriend's daughter is Han Solo, Arwen, the color purple and should live in a cottage in Nepal.  Not helpful.  I repeat, not helpful. 

I'm allergic to sugar.  It gives me hives and my tongue fills up my mouth, I can't breathe and for the next two weeks I see everything with a purple hue, I have a taste in my mouth like asparagus and my right eye twitches uncontrollably.
False.  Darn it. I'm not allergic, I'm addicted.  Why is it that I think I can stay up later, write longer, return more emails, balance my bank account faster, vacuum and love more perfectly if I've had  5 oreos and a glass of milk?

Want one more?  Cause good things come in threes? I would rather have my contacts cement to my crispy eyeballs than get up out of bed to take them out.  Why?  Why can't I move my body?  Why can't I be reasonable?  Why do I lay down with them in in the first place?  Seriously, after 15 years of this phenomenon I haven't learned that when the TV is on, I sit on the bed, lean on the bed, rest on the bed, recline on the bed, lay on the bed....  then sleep on the bed.  For the night.  So, instead of wearing my glasses for 15 minutes before I go to sleep, I wear them for 15 hours the next day while my eyes recover from their nocturnal cement tomb.  Dumb.

Self discipline.  Restraint. Willpower.  Composure. Moderation.  Temperance.  Smarts.


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