Thursday, April 14, 2011

You said almost, almost ago.

That about sums it up right now. Jessicaism. There are a growing number of them. And they are funny and accurate.

This post may have a twitter feel. Not on purpose, but simply because about one phrase is the end of my emotional depth tonight. Why does that happen?

I love driving a stick shift. Love it. LOVE it. I learned on Anita's car Charlie and I am SO grateful to her for being patient with me and sticking it out so to speak. What is it about switching gears? Control. Darn. I'm afraid it might be a control thing with me. Probably. Well, that about ruins it.

Corinne just got out of the shower and is standing in the kitchen wrapped in a towel eating chocolate chip cookies. It's charming.

Why do I love breakfast so much? Why does eating something besides cereal make me feel like I might as well be living in a beach house in California? I love cream cheese french toast, hashbrowns, hot chocolate and fruit salad. If I was on death row, this would be my last meal.

BUT that meal has a lot of calories and I CAN NOT seem to be able to get back on track with my eating. I'm out of control. It's depressing. It may be THE reason I'm writing tonight.

The leaves are starting to grow on the trees. It makes me giddy. The only part about it that makes me sad is that soon we won't be able to see the temple from our window. Too many leaves. But it's worth it. It's like Orion.

Could it really be as simple as the weather? The weather deserves its very own post. Maybe it's very own blog. Could it really be that all I've needed was the spring? Some dirt? Some green? Some sun? That's it? And in the middle of August I'll be tempted to give my right hand for a storm. Something that will abate the constant light. Something gray and moody. Something unpredictable and crazed. But right now... sign me up for a forever of days of 70 and breezy.

I wish I wanted to be a reader.
I wish I wanted to be a yoga girl.
I wish I wanted to be a vegetarian.
I wish I wanted to lose 10 lbs.
I wish I wanted to run a marathon.
I wish I wanted to learn to play the cello.
I wish I wanted to get off facebook forever.
I wish I wanted to have a clean house.
I wish I wanted...............

But I don't.

So.... I'll watch movies, remain curious, enjoy burgers, heft extra weight, walk, sing, log on and sit and think just a little longer.

Goodnight moon. Goodnight red balloon.
~Emily

PS - Next time I'll talk about how freaked out I am about the age of my children and the corresponding age of their parents. Goodness grief. (Jessicaism)