I've enjoyed a stillness and clarity of late that has eluded me in the mostly recent past. I'm reaching for a way to describe it, but I'm not sure my wordsmything is refined enough to bring these buoyant emotions to the page... er... to the screen.
I heard this phrase last week -
It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do what you were meant to do.
For a moment this is a consoling, peaceful thought. But panic sets in when you realize its up to you to sort out what you were meant to do.
Meant to do? There is a mighty possibility for failure. It could be all about how you make money, or who you become or where you live or go to school, or do with your time each day... but I think it can be more resonant than that, and what I want to think of is this:
What I am meant to do is learn to be a complete version of me being made up of 10 parts Love. This would be a whole and complete me. This is what I want to be meant to do.
Right now I think maybe I have 6 parts love, 2 parts jealousy, 2 parts pride, and maybe 1 part something I can't even describe, and I realize that this would be 11 parts something - and that is certainly contributing to the challenge. It doesn't matter what I do to do it, but I'm meant to learn 10 parts Love. I'm meant to be pure of heart....eventually.
