I keep a running list of things that I'd like to blog about someday. Some of them I haven't tackled because I haven't found the time, others because they frighten me so, and some because I forget about the list when I sit down to write. So in case I don't find all the time in this life time, here's the current list at any rate...
*One could describe middle age, and for all I know old age as well, as a recovery from youth. A recovery from the lies we believed, the ones we told ourselves, the perceptions we misunderstood, the ones we naively held up as virtuous, the boys we loved, the girls we revered... At 39 I'm on the road to recovery, but it may take another 10 years to get back on my feet completely.
*Watching sports with Rich has become a talent of mine. More than a pastime or a skill, but something that enriches my life and in which I find joy in the pursuit of excellence.
*My English friends take the middle syllable out of my name. I should continue my reports of English/American studies. There is so much more to tell.
*Marriage pulls the dysfunction out of our souls, pulls it to the surface and sets it on fire.
*I'm not brilliant and how to recover from that realisation.
*You know that incredible moment when the sun light is more horizontal than vertical and as you start to close your heavy lids, the light reflects off of your lashes and they scatter tiny circles of sunshine?
*Whipping Cream is wonderful. Whipping cream and coconut. I can't get enough. I dropped a single waffle square drooping with real whipping cream into the book I am reading. Ate the square and licked the page clean. I feel completely satisfied with my ability to make waffles. Next… to conquer the process of cleaning the iron. Honestly, I lack the passion for it. Or other squeaky clean pursuits.
*I have a strong desire to improve my vocabulary.
*Why don’t I get out of the bed to take my contacts out?, and other silly habits I should have overcome by the age of 15. They fritz against my eyeballs and I can feel the crust taking hold. Its gets harder and harder to blink and I sit in a permanent squint. Its hard to think of much else, but I don’t get up. I’m warm.
*"I need not hurry myself; there is no good in that - but I must work on in full camases and serenity, as regularly and concentratedly as possible, as briefly and concisely as possible". - Van Gogh. How could someone with so much clarity as evidenced in this sentence, also be so tormented? I think I know a little about that answer.
*"By painting the sky, Van Gogh was really able to see it and adore it better than if he had just looked at it." - Ueland. You will never understand your husband unless you write his story. What a challenge. I want to do this.
*The rewards of an unremarkable life, and how to live one purposefully. This is important.
*My creative pursuits: writing of late, losing weight - a lifetime objective, loving, forgiving, teaching,
adoring Rich, performing, mothering; and how they are all the same objective.
*Writing: What I know so far. It is not a performance, but a generosity.
*"If one is imaginative enough, one can love others with all their limitations." THIS IS IT! This is the reason to foster creativity, empathy, forgiveness and generosity. My favorite virtues. - Maybe this is where I'll start.
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