Cleats instead of Biscotti

I usually write about feelings rather than events. Maybe I should try writing about events. But you know, the events in my life aren't that extraordinary. I suppose the feelings in my life aren't that extraordinary either, but they are certainly the part of my life that I don't understand - therefore more interesting.

There are a lot of kids in my life these days. A lot. I dream of having a job where I'm surrounded by grown ups. Lately I've wanted to have a job at a cafe in Salt Lake. Something to leave behind every time I drive home. Quirky co-workers that have entertaining problems - like being in love with their professor at school or trying to convince their brother to move here from Toronto, or deciding whether or not to get a cat or a tattoo. I would love to work at the coffee counter at the SL lib. That is a loaded statement. Why do I want these things? It seems like these are jobs for young people. Do I want to be young? Or experience a different life than I did when I was young? When I was 24 I had 2 kids and was pregnant with my third. I was teaching school at BHS and clipping coupons and hauling big wheels and trikes. And playing in fountains and reading story books. It was a great life. In a thousand ways more fulfilling than filling coffee cups and cutting biscotti. But still... I want to read some good books on a train on the way to work and have to walk at least 3 blocks to get to there, and eat out of a brown paper bag on the lawn for lunch. I want a boss that tells me what to do every hour and I don't want to be responsible for anyone's happiness. I'm probably not responsible for anyone's happiness now, but it feels like I am. Is this a midlife crisis?

I don't want to work in a clothing store or a bank. I don't want to be a bus driver or a parking attendant. I think it sounds fun to work in a hotel, but maybe that's just because I'd like to go on vacation. It also sounds really fun to be a farmer. I think I'd be ok with that for one season. Wouldn't it be fun to take a year and do a different job every month? I'd like to be the secretary in the music dept at the U for a month. I could work in a high rise for a month. What do they really do in high rises? I think I just want to ride the elevator.

Well, its late and tomorrow I'll go to work and teach kids about music. And I have to get there really early. And it will be dark. And I'll be so busy at lunch that I'll eat a protein bar. And I have rehearsal after school so by the time I get home it will be dark again. Guh.

I could be a ski lift operator for a month.

Corinne is currently sobbing because Rich is taking her big toe nail entirely off. It died weeks ago after she wore cleats that were too small to an indoor game. Who knew?

Gotta go....